On Writing Love Scenes

Well, the writing is going well, which is a good thing. I've hit my stride with the novel I'm working on, and I've been steadily producing. But it means that sooner, rather than later, I'm going to have to write a sex scene. (Actually, we romance authors prefer to call them 'love scenes.') And that is terrifying.

My friend Shelly gave me a book called The Joy of Writing Sex. It's a wonderful read.  The author interviewed a whole lot of authors of literary fiction to find out their approaches to writing sex scenes. One of the questions she asked was how they dealt with the thought of critics while they wrote, particularly critics that they know, such as their grandmothers, or parents, or lovers.

One author responded that he didn't produce most of his best work until after his parents died.  Another said she asked her parents not to read one of her books. She said that her father agreed, but her mother didn't.  But her mother did agree never to speak of it.  Another said that his mother was devoutly religious, and offended by explicit sex scenes, but very supportive of him.  She read his books, but when it looked like a sex scene was approaching, she just skipped ahead. 

Another author said that you can't think about the reader when you write the scenes.  You just have to write the scenes, and worry about the repercussions later.  He was an English professor who wrote a book with a particularly graphic love scene.  One day a student approached him to tell him how much she loved the book.  His first horrified thought was, "Oh my God!  She read that scene!"

My parents have sometimes been compared to Ward and June Cleaver, wonderful parents, but not people you'd easily imagine sitting down with for a frank talk about sex.  But my mother cleared the air right away.  She's excited that I'm writing a book, and she's very supportive.  She told me, "I know your book will have to have sex scenes, so go ahead and write them.  But just make sure that when the book is done, if you took those scenes out, you would still have a good story."   And you know, it really does help not to have to worry about my parents.  Now I only have to worry about the rest of the world.